Gratitude

A number of attitudes lead to happiness.  Gratitude or the act of counting one's blessings, is one of them.  Some others include 'being aware of possibilities,' 'giving to others', 'being connected', 'pursuing dreams and goals'. 

Most recently I have felt distinctly unhappy; depressed even.   I've had a few disappointments and setbacks  in the past couple of weeks and I could argue that these have caused my current state of mood malaise.  But they haven't really.  What's really caused my mood of late is my sense of complacency and my (high) expectations for myself and reality.  It is never a good idea to impose high expectations on circumstances, situations or people because after all, circumstances and people are what they are and will be what they'll be.  It is easy to let one's expectations exceed reality and this mismatch - where one's expectations are higher than the actual experience or reality - can only lead to disappointment, frustration and even unhappiness. 

When all is said and done, I seem to have lost my mojo because I have forgotten to be grateful.  I have become complacent. As anyone knows, complacency is a very unreflective stance which can lead to a sense of boredom or a lack of what I call "life drive".  

In conversation with my hubby yesterday, I started to reflect on the when my current malaise kicked in.  We realised that I started to lose my mojo a few months ago when my application to become an Aussie citizen was approved.  The sense of relief and joy I initially felt when my permanent residence status was upgraded to "citizen" was gradually replaced with what "empty nest syndrome" must feel like in some way.  Now, I don't have kids - young or grown-up - so I don't have first-hand experienced of emty-nest syndrome but I think the parallels might be there.  For starters, I started to dream of living in Australia around 1996 when I was doing my Masters degree in Clinical Psychology.  I believed that this qualification would be my ticket out of the Africa I had been borne into and loved deeply but could no longer imagine growing old in.  The determination, passion, angst and grind of 10 years of study was going to be my ticket out of chaos and violence. 

And so it was, but not before I patiently bided my time over many more years and bounced back after several set-backs on my uncertain path of immigration. But finally I got to raise my goal from its initial stage of conception through all the transition phases up to its adult status of attaining an Australian identity.  That done, where to now?  What's left? Where does my next major life goal lie?  I don't have the answers.  Is it to start preparing myself for retirement and the associated goals of securing long-term financial security?  This is something I simply cannot begin to contemplate yet.  It certainly does not feel like something to look forward to, let alone something I can embrace with the passion and determination that I spent on pursuing my previous life goals.

So for now, I have realised that the best hope I have of regaining my mojo in the short-term is to focus on gratitude. My goal for now is to count my blessings everyday starting with today.  I am going to reflect on my blessings and write them down. I am going to count three blessings every day (in no order of importance) so that I can really savour them mindfully as if sucking on three small squares of my favourite chocolate. I am going to let them roll around my head, explore them, let them melt inside me and I am going to be slow to swallow them.

Blessing One:

I am grateful for my home.  It's a space in which I get to do some of my favourite things - cooking, writing, playing games, sleeping, playing with my cat, sitting quietly with a cup of tea, cuddling up to my husband.

Blessing Two:

I am grateful that today I get to spend a carefree afternoon with a friend at the movies.

Blessing Three:

I am grateful that I have some warm clothes to put on because it's a cold day outside.  There are so many people in this world with neither warm clothes or warm shelter and I don't even want to imagine what that must be like.